Fearless she's not

But brave enough
To face her demons

And strong enough
To come out alive

Lou Sheldon
Founder of the Traditional Values Coalition

"Homosexuals are dangerous. They proselytize. They come to the door, and if your son answers and there is nobody there to stop it, they grab the son and run off with him. They steal him. They take him away and turn him into a homosexual."
— In 1992, as reported by journalist Jimmy Breslin

A few months ago, I recalled a vague yet traumatic childhood memory.  Having been raised in a strict Baptist household, I learned about evangelism (which basically means trying to convince everyone on the planet that your fundamentalist Christian ideas are the one and only way to be saved from eternal damnation). Any questions or different interpretation of God's word was heresy and was inspired by the devil. At least, that 's what my church taught. *No offense intended here toward open-minded Christians*  Part of this effort to educate the heathens was to hand out these religious tracts published by Jack Chick.  I had forgotten exactly what they looked like, but I remembered that they were disturbing to me, even as a child.  I took a chance and looked for them online.  I found out they are still in print and still being distributed.  I thought I'd share this little sample of one of them.  I hate to advertise for this guy, but I have to give credit where credit is due:

I couldn't help but notice how he left out the part where God's man Lot offered his virgin daughters to the angry mob.  I think my favorite part its the warning "If anyone tries to make you gay,  stay away from them."  

Well, it looks like Roy Moore, former Chief Justice of the Alabama supreme court, fired for refusing to remove the giant monument of the ten commandments from the rotunda of the court house, will be running for governor of our great state.  He'll win, too.  No doubt.

Next thing you know, we'll all be court ordered to attend Sunday school every week.

He's also the judge who said that gay parents are unfit to raise their own children based on their sexual orientation alone, ordering that custody be taken from a lesbian mother and given to the children's heterosexual father despite his history of abusing the children.

I think it's time for me to consider moving to another state....

Yesterday, a local man with a long history of treatment for mental illness was acting out at his home and was shot and killed by the deputy who responded to the call.  His father, a physician, had attempted to have him committed to the hospital for treatment but was unable to have this done for whatever reason.  It was a tragic failure of the system and was deeply disturbing for the community.

So, you can imagine what the top story was last night on the local news.  That's right----who won the American Idol contest.  The shooting was mentioned briefly in the second half of the program.  I don't even know what to say about that.  Good to know we're being kept informed on issues that are really important.

I've noticed an interesting trend in my profession. Everyone who comes in to the mental health center for treatment  begins with a psychosocial assessmsent.  This takes a comprehensive inventory of the client's family, psychological, educational, legal, occupational, and medical history.  But, that's not the interesing part, this is....

One question  asked is "What is your sexual orientation?"  Eight times out of ten, I get a puzzled look in response to that question.  I explain further, "Gay, straight, bi......?"  and watch it dawn on the client what I'm asking.  The response is typically "Oh...... oh, I'm straight" or "I just like women."  This responses come only from the heterosexual clients.  They usually laugh to themselves like it was a ridiculous question.  "Who would think I might not be straight?" It's a natural assumption for them that most people are heterosexual.  In contrast-- homosexual, bisexual, or transgendered clients always know what that question means.

It just struck me how infrequently most heterosexuals think about their sexual orientation.  They don't have to think about the fact that they are straight.  It just doesn't come up for them every day like it does for many of us.  My sexual orientation can have serious consequences for me in most areas of my life--with intolerant coworkers, my family, neighbors who are homophobic, the judge who decides child custody, the teachers and other parents at my children's schools--so, it's something that is sort of always present.

I think this can be a problem when issues related to tolerance are discussed.  For instance, the father who was upset that a book about families in the school library included families with two mothers or two fathers.  I don't think including that book  was about the school trying to advocate some abstract liberal ideas about  the definition of family or encouraging alternative lifestlyes.  It's about talking to children about the reality of what is going on around them.  How many children at that school have a gay parent?  I'd guess there are several.  Children of gay parents don't go to some special school for alternative families.  They sit right next to your kids at school and you can't tell their parents are homos just by looking at them. Is it better to ignore a child's question about why Molly has two mommies coming to her soccer games or to address it? 

Last week, a friend at work (I'll call her Lucy) confided in me that she has a "thing" for our supervisor, who is a woman.  Lucy is a straight girl.  She has always dated men and seemed satisfied with that.  She's  woman who really enjoys sex and is often seen checking out some guy's ass in public.  So, her revelation was initially surprising.  She says that she finds herself staring at the woman when in staff meetings, that she makes up reasons to go ask her questions,  that she tries to do her paperwork perfectly to please the woman, and that she actually plans out what to wear so that she will look good when she sees her.  She even re-applies her lipstick just before the supervisor walks in.  She laughs at herself for doing this, and she stops short of actually expressing sexual interest in her.  Watching this has been so amusing.  The supervisor is totally unaware of how Lucy feels and certainly does nothing to encourage it.

So, I wonder--what's the deal?  Is she a closet case?  Reluctanly bi-curious?  Or do most people develop  platonic crushes from time to time?

Zoo drops efforts to turn penguins straight
    & nbsp; By Larry Buhl, PlanetOut Network
    & nbsp; Friday, February 18, 2005 / 07:21 PM

SUMMARY: After six male penguins resisted all efforts to relate to female penguins, keepers at the Bremerhaven Zoo in Bremen, Germany, decided to let them stay gay.

Outrage from gay and lesbian groups and -- apparently -- the strength of animal amore, have thwarted a German zoo's plans to break up three gay penguin couples. After six male penguins resisted all efforts to mate with, or even relate to, female penguins, keepers at the Bremerhaven Zoo in Bremen, Germany, decided to let them stay gay.

Keepers at the Bremerhaven Zoo in Bremen, Germany, couldn't understand why six endangered Humboldt penguins, part of the zoo's 10-penguin exhibit, failed to produce offspring. Though the birds coupled up, did courting dances, built nests together and appeared to have sex, no babies were created -- although one couple adopted a stone that they protected as if it were an egg. When DNA tests showed that all six were male, zookeepers turned to a form of aversion therapy by coaxing them to mate with females.

But after four female penguins were imported from Sweden earlier this year to distract the males, it was clear the gay penguins would not turn "straight." The male couples were separated and introduced to the females one by one, but they pined for their mates until they were reunited. Kueck said the zoo did not try to break up the same-sex pairs by force. Rather, administrators wanted to see if the birds were really homosexual or just lacking in opportunities for female companionship. "The relationships of the male couples were apparently too strong," said Kueck.

Penguins don't have a lock on same-sex love, however. Scientists have found homosexual behavior throughout the animal world, and more so with animals in the wild than with those in captivity. Bonobos, apes closely related to humans, are nearly all bisexual -- and, studies have shown, wildly energetic sexually. Young male dolphin calves frequently form same-sex relationships.

Same-sex animal couplings have sparked debate over the origin of homosexual behavior. Gay rights groups have used gay animal examples to bolster the belief that homosexuality is natural, while conservative religious groups continue to call such couplings "animalistic."

Though she resists using animal behavior to draw conclusions about humans, Marlene Zuk, author of "Sexual Selections: What We Can and Can't Learn About Sex From Animals"  says that same-sex animal behavior can be used to expand our understanding of sexuality in general.

With bonobos in particular, Zuk explained, "You see expressions outside the period when females are fertile. Suddenly, you are beginning to see that sex is not necessarily about reproduction. Sexuality is a lot broader term than people want to think."

As for the six Bremerhaven penguins, the experiment doesn't seem to have caused a rift in their same-sex relationships. The four Swedish temptresses, meanwhile, are not exactly left out in the cold. The zoo has flown in two new male penguins, "so the ladies don't miss out altogether," Kueck said.

From PlanetOut last week:

"[T]he number of people killed in the tsunami is the same as
the number of people in the world who die of AIDS every 18
days."

-- NBC News Chief Health and Science Correspondent Robert
Bazell in a Jan. 5 e-mail to veteran gay activist Larry
Kramer.

I was listening to this earlier and thought that it pretty much summed up my attitude today:

Life is an aimless drive that you take alone.

Might as well enjoy the ride--take the long way home.

---the Bloodhound Gang

Poll:  Majority support measure
Associated press

MONTGOMERY--A survey of voting-age Alabamians found a majority strongly support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, which is an issue getting lots of attention in the current session of the Alabama Legislature.
   In the survey, conducted by a polling service at Auburn University, 54 percent said they strongly supported a constitutional amendment, 4 percent mildly supported it, 11 percent were indifferent, 5 percent mildly opposed to it, and 23 percent strongly opposed to it.
   Poll director Jim Seroka said Tuesday the surprising part of the survey was that only 3 percent had no opinion, which is unusually small.
   The issue has captured people's attention, he said, because "you're dealing with the family."

Ummmm......I think someone should state the obvious to these people, which is that all gay residents of the state are also members of a family.  We have parents and siblings and life partners.  Many of us even have children.  How can you promote "family unity" when you promote intolerance and discrimination toward members of a family?  When you deny legal rights and protections to certain families?  That's the whole point of wanting marriage equality.  It's not a plot to undermine the fabric of society or to destroy heterosexual marriage.  We just want legal protection for our families, too.   

I have yet to hear a real explanation for how gay marriage is a threat to the sanctity of heterosexual marriage. In what way is it a threat?

This news flash is no surprise, is it?

House committee approves ban on gay marriages

By BOB JOHNSON
The Associated Press
2/2/2005, 5:50 p.m. CT

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) -- A proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages was approved Wednesday by a House committee despite passionate pleas from representatives of gay rights groups, who said it would encourage discrimination and hate toward homosexuals.

"We can't come out of the shadows and show who we are for fear. The institution of marriagee is safe. Please do not perpetuate additional hate against us," said Howard Bayless, a representative of the gay rights advocacy group Equality Alabama.

For the House Constitution and Elections Committee, the chief issue was when the amendment should go before voters.

The committee voted 8-6 along party lines in favor of holding the referendum with the June 2006 primaries, as Democrats prefer. The committee then passed the bill 12-2.

Republicans want the referendum to be held during the general election in November 2006, which they say will attract more voters than the June primaries. GOP lawmakers promised to push to change the date when the proposed amendment comes up on the House floor.

Democrats took note that President Bush won in nine of the 11 states where gay marriage bans were on the ballot last November — passing in every state — and they're concerned that putting the issue on the 2006 general election ballot in Alabama could bring out conservative voters and help Republican candidates.

The sponsor of the measure, Rep. Yusuf Salaam, D-Selma, said his purpose was not to attack gay Alabamians.

"I'm not offering this to slash or bash anyone," said Salaam, the only Muslim in the Legislature. "This protects the sanctity of marriage."

On the first committee day of the 2005 regular session, more than 50 people crowded into a small Statehouse meeting room to hear debate on the gay marriage amendment.

Rep. Gerald Allen, R-Tuscaloosa, who has also sponsored a same-sex marriage ban, said the issue is one of the most important facing the Legislature.

"The institution of marriage is under attack. Marriage is the bedrock of the very existence of our society," Allen said.

But Bayless told committee members that Alabama already has a law making same-sex marriages illegal.

"This is just perpetuating hate against us," Bayless said.

Patricia Todd, who said she is a lesbian, begged committee members to show "a sense of decency."

"Passage of this bill will create a season of hate against all gay people in Alabama," Todd said.

At the local gay bar:

Me: "Hey, good to see you.  So, you finally came out?"

Ginger: "What do you mean finally?"

Me: "We always knew you were gay."

Ginger: "Well, I wish someone had told me."  (Laughs).

She doesn't know
How broken I am
How damaged
How shamed
How close I came
Close enough
To see the light
Decided to fight
But, still
Not quite right
She wants to know me
And, in truth, she does
Closer, at least
Than anyone was
Heartaches heal
But not without
Scar tissue
Inside and out
Now tough and hard
What was tender and sweet
My heart, my self
Is hard to reach
Not deceptive
But self-protective
She must be brave
And immensely perceptive
But, I have always known
There are pieces of me
No one can see
Not even me.

I read a great article today in The Progressive (December 2004), about the post-election revolution.  Read on…  

The Meaning of Defeat 

How agonizing it was to see George Bush gloat.  Agonizing, no doubt, for John Kerry on a personal level, but profoundly more agonizing for his supporters and those on the left who threw in their lot with him in hopes of ridding the White House of the gang of reactionaries who took it over these last four years. 

This was never about John Kerry. 

It was always about the hope of establishing a semblance of sanity in our foreign policy, decency in social policy, and respect for the basic tenets of our democracy. 

[…] 

To a large extent on November 2, not reason but doctrine prevailed.  Some rightwing evangelicals claimed that God paved the way for Bush in the White House.  “God has given us a reprieve,” said James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family. 

Such comments suggest we are entering the dusk of the Age of Reason. 

[…] 

And so it is the task of the progressive movement to be an effective force of resistance by demonstrating in large numbers against his policies, by pressuring liberal legislators to hold the line, and by regrouping to fight another day.   

[…] 

“Moral values” are not the preserve of rightwing evangelicals.  Nor are they the preserve of believers….Those of us on the secular left must insist that we are as moral as anyone in Focus on the Family.  We believe in truth and justice and peace and equality and a preserved environment.  We practice kindness and compassion.  These are moral values.  And we must stand up and claim them. 

Black Tuesday was a sobering day.  But no one is rolling over dead.  In fact, there is a seriousness of purpose, and urgency to gain power, that is amazing to behold.

We will not sulk.

We will not give in to paralytic depression.

We will not leave the country.

We will stay and fight.

And as we do so, we—and well-meaning people the world over—may once again recite the line from Neruda, “America, I do not call your name without hope.”

This article was recently posted by Clack, and I wanted to pass it along.  The humiliation of being from Alabama is never-ending.  And, really, the insistence on involving religion in the legal process is getting a little scary.

Ala. Judge Wears Ten Commandments on Robe

By BOB JOHNSON, Associated Press Writer

MONTGOMERY, Ala. - A judge refused to delay a trial Tuesday when an attorney objected to his wearing a judicial robe with the Ten Commandments embroidered on the front in gold.

Circuit Judge Ashley McKathan showed up Monday at his Covington County courtroom in southern Alabama wearing the robe. Attorneys who try cases at the courthouse said they had not seen him wearing it before. The commandments were described as being big enough to read by anyone near the judge.

Attorney Riley Powell, defending a client charged with DUI, filed a motion objecting to the robe and asking that the case be continued. He said McKathan denied both motions.

[...]

The case raised comparisons to former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, who was removed from office in 2003 for refusing to remove a Ten Commandments monument from the rotunda of the Alabama Judicial Building in Montgomery.

Moore said Tuesday he supports McKathan's decision to wear the Ten Commandments robe.

"I applaud Judge McKathan. It is time for our judiciary to recognize the moral basis of our law," Moore said.

While talking to my sister grrlpink yesterday, I suddenly remembered how I lost my mind a couple of weeks ago. I was sort of zoned out driving to work, and I was almost there when I turned my head to look before changing lanes and noticed that the twins were still in the back seat.  And I thought "Holy shit".  Apparently, I had dropped off my oldest daughter at the high school then headed to work instead of to the middle school. They were late, of course, by the time I turned around and drove them there.  They had been so quiet, I had forgotten they were still with me.  It freaked me out. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone for a few minutes.

So, either the dementia is setting in or I'm way too stressed out.  Ever have those days that make you feel like you really are crazy?

Having tried most of the better-known tips for a good night's sleep (Tylenol PM, various teas, Valerian, Melatonin, etc), none of which made any noticable difference to me, my partner and I have decided that sex is the best cure for insomnia.  Funny it took me so long to make the connection.   I actually slept all night several nights this week and even had pleasant dreams.  Mmmm.

Today, though, I think I have a sex-related injury.  Have you ever been going down on someone and you were so into what you were doing that you didn't notice that you were holding your shoulders in a totally uncomforable, cramped position?&nb sp; I tend to get completely focused on what my mouth is doing at that time, I guess. Then later you were like, what the hell is wrong with my neck?  I can't even turn my head to the right without experiencing a sharp pain. 

Oh well, it was worth it.