Yesterday, a local man with a long history of treatment for mental illness was acting out at his home and was shot and killed by the deputy who responded to the call.  His father, a physician, had attempted to have him committed to the hospital for treatment but was unable to have this done for whatever reason.  It was a tragic failure of the system and was deeply disturbing for the community.

So, you can imagine what the top story was last night on the local news.  That's right----who won the American Idol contest.  The shooting was mentioned briefly in the second half of the program.  I don't even know what to say about that.  Good to know we're being kept informed on issues that are really important.

I've noticed an interesting trend in my profession. Everyone who comes in to the mental health center for treatment  begins with a psychosocial assessmsent.  This takes a comprehensive inventory of the client's family, psychological, educational, legal, occupational, and medical history.  But, that's not the interesing part, this is....

One question  asked is "What is your sexual orientation?"  Eight times out of ten, I get a puzzled look in response to that question.  I explain further, "Gay, straight, bi......?"  and watch it dawn on the client what I'm asking.  The response is typically "Oh...... oh, I'm straight" or "I just like women."  This responses come only from the heterosexual clients.  They usually laugh to themselves like it was a ridiculous question.  "Who would think I might not be straight?" It's a natural assumption for them that most people are heterosexual.  In contrast-- homosexual, bisexual, or transgendered clients always know what that question means.

It just struck me how infrequently most heterosexuals think about their sexual orientation.  They don't have to think about the fact that they are straight.  It just doesn't come up for them every day like it does for many of us.  My sexual orientation can have serious consequences for me in most areas of my life--with intolerant coworkers, my family, neighbors who are homophobic, the judge who decides child custody, the teachers and other parents at my children's schools--so, it's something that is sort of always present.

I think this can be a problem when issues related to tolerance are discussed.  For instance, the father who was upset that a book about families in the school library included families with two mothers or two fathers.  I don't think including that book  was about the school trying to advocate some abstract liberal ideas about  the definition of family or encouraging alternative lifestlyes.  It's about talking to children about the reality of what is going on around them.  How many children at that school have a gay parent?  I'd guess there are several.  Children of gay parents don't go to some special school for alternative families.  They sit right next to your kids at school and you can't tell their parents are homos just by looking at them. Is it better to ignore a child's question about why Molly has two mommies coming to her soccer games or to address it?